Improvement is a human condition, we want to improve throughout our lives, and so when we get ill and suffer, we obviously want to improve and get better. But what if you knew no matter what you did, you wouldn’t improve, just like with your age, you won’t de-age, you can only slow aging.
Improvement is also a subjective topic, everyone basically defines their own overall improvement, because it’s based around what they currently value. Being ill, we want to improve our symptoms, and this is definitely possible through habits, medication, behaviour, therapies and more. Reaching a baseline is possible at least, deciding what that baseline is differs for everyone, because we all have different starting points and different requirements for our baseline.
We’d all love to feel 100%, 100% of the time. It’s not possible though. Obviously most of us would be happy with even small improvements day by day, because much of the time, it feels like we’re just going downhill more and more. Sometimes if we even solve one problem, another problem comes up that’s worse, and that’s pretty normal for life. Life is a series of problems. The issue is detaching yourself from the problems, the symptoms and your situation. It’s very difficult when you’re suffering every day, eventually you’ll want to end that suffering in some way.
It’s why managing to survive is far more important than improvements. Think of yourself on a steep decline down a mountain, do you want to tumble head over heels, or do you want to balance things and control your descent, with your mind and body intact for whenever you hit the bottom. That said, some of us are in freefall, and major irreversible damage is guaranteed, so bracing yourself and gathering your willpower, is something that will be useful eventually.
I think the pressure for improvement is very sinister, it makes us feel so bad about ourselves, that we’re getting worse, and not getting better. It’s a burden to feel like you’re not doing enough. What if you had a crystal ball, and there was literally nothing you could do to improve things on your own, would you feel better that you’re already doing your best, or would it make you lose hope?
It’s hard not to lose hope in such a situation, you’re basically living your life hoping you are going to win the lottery. Obviously this type of hope isn’t very useful, it’s not going to help enough people. You have to create opportunities and create a realistic plan. What are you going to do if you’re worse and worse? You need to plan for the worse, so at least you have a plan when you get there.
What happens to most people, is they cling onto hope, try to push through, push themselves every day to improve, they plan for the future, but they plan for the best future, where everything goes well. Let’s say for 50% of people this works, they become the survivors, winners of their situation. For 50% of people they lose, they fall further and get stuck, they didn’t plan for their scenario, and get more and more stuck. Improvements they desire seem impossible, or might literally be impossible.
So instead of getting into that situation, plan for the best and the worst, seek help, be realistic, don’t push yourself every day or even when you can. Just surviving is actually enough, as long as you have a plan you’re following and making steps to. You don’t need to make a step every day, your goal should just be to survive every day and take care of yourself.
Society makes us feel like we’re useless, we need to be productive, we need to be making money, that we can’t be a burden, that we have to pull ourselves up and work hard. This isn’t necessarily untrue, but it’s untrue for every situation. Some people need to be less productive, so that they can heal, some people need to chase peace, not money. Some people are legitimately a burden and it shouldn’t make them feel bad, because that’s just loading up the burden that’s inevitable even more.
We can pull ourselves together, but not at the expense of ourselves. It needs to be channelled for us, not for the world since most of the world doesn’t care. It’s cold. So find out who cares, and who can help, and try to care about yourself the most, put yourself first. Stop thinking of yourself as a burden, and think of yourself as a human being who is suffering from things that if you afflicted the whole of society with, would cause it to collapse immediately.
It’s a bit of both, it really depends on the person.
100% only occasionally, and the world seems like a much better place.